1. Q: What did the pencil sharpener say to the pencil?
A: Stop going in circles and get to the point!
2. Q: Why did the kid study in the airplane?
A: Because he wanted a higher education!
3. Q: Why aren't you doing well in history?
A: Because the teacher keeps on asking about things that happened before I was born!
4. Q: What is the fruitiest subject at school?
A: History, because it's full of dates!
5. Q: What is the smartest state?
A: Alabama, it has four A's and one B.
6. Q: Teacher: What can you tell me about the Dead Sea?
A: Student: I didn't even know it was sick!
7. Q: Teacher: Now class, whatever I ask, I want you to all answer at once. How much is six plus 4?
A: Class: At once!
8. Q: Why didn't the two 4's want any dinner?
A: Because they already 8!
9. Q: Teacher: Why are you doing your multiplication on the floor?
A: Student: You told me not to use tables.
10. Q: Teacher: I hope I didn't see you looking at John's exam?
A: Student: I hope you didn't either.
11. Q: Teacher: You missed school yesterday, didn't you?
A: Student: Not really.
12. Q: What did the ghost teacher say to the class?
A: Look at the board and I will go through it again.
13. Q: Why did the teacher write on the window?
A: Because she wanted the lesson to be very clear!
14. Q. What's the difference between a teacher and a train?
A. The teacher says throw out that gum and a train says chew, chew!
15. Q. Why can't you do a math test in the jungle?
A. There are too many cheetahs!
Once there was a boy who needed to do his home work. His homework was to write down his family's favourite words.
So when he got home he asked his mom who was listening to the radio, "What is your favourite word mom?"
"Shut up!" So he wrote that down.
Then he went to his dad who was watching football and his favourite team had just scored a goal, so the little boy asked his dad,"What is your favourite word dad?"
"Yeah!" So he wrote that down.
Next he went to his big sister and he asked her, "What is your favourite word?"
She was listening to her favourite CD and said, "A lollipop, a lollipop, a lollipop." So he wrote that down.
Next he went to his brother. He was watching the end of Batman, he asked him, "What is your favourite word?"
"Nananananananana Batman!" so he wrote that down.
Then he went to his baby sister who was playing with her cars. So he asked her, "What is your favourite word?"
"Voom, voom car, a voom, voom car." So he wrote that down.
The next day at school, the teacher asked him to share his homework with the class
He said, "Shut up!"
The teacher said, "Do you want to go to the principal's office?"
"What do you think you deserve?"
"A lollipop, a lollipop, a lollipop."
"Who do you think you are?"
"What do you think you are going to get away with?"
"Voom, voom car, a voom, voom car."
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